Transitory Psychosis

Danny Conn forwarded me a story about a South Korean couple that has been charged in the death of their three-month-old daughter. Quoting from the story:

The baby was found dead last September 24 and an autopsy showed her death was caused by a long period of malnutrition.

“They indulged themselves in the online game of raising a virtual character so as to escape from reality, which led to the death of their real baby.

Incredible story, don’t you think? But it prompted a thought. Isn’t something similar occurring when parents immerse themselves in things such as work, leisure, media, or pleasure to the neglect of parenting, marriage-building, and their relationship with God? I’m not saying those things are wrong, each one has a place in our lives; but when things are allowed to overshadow our God-given priorities it results in long-term repercussions.

It all dovetails with my recent concerns that we are, as one author said, “amusing ourselves to death” as a culture. We find a million things to do to “escape” from those things we should be doing. Too often it results in neglecting life’s most important relationships.

Time invested in building your relationship with God, your spouse, and your children pays dividends for generations to come. It’s worth the effort!

This weekend I read an article from the June/July issue of The Atlantic magazine. The article, “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off,” was written by Sandra Tsing Loh (read it here). The teaser reads, “The author is ending her marriage. Isn’t it time you did the same?”

Forty-seven-year-old Loh chronicles the demise of her 20-year marriage, apparently prompted by her extramarital affair. Early on, she asks, “Why do we still insist on marriage? Sure, it made sense to agrarian families before 1900, when to farm the land, one needed two spouses, grandparents, and a raft of children. But now that we have white-collar work and washing machines, and our life expectancy has shot from 47 to 77, isn’t the idea of lifelong marriage obsolete?”
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On June 30, 1977 a skinny 18-year-old kid kissed his new bride. She was an older woman of 19. We were too young and too poor to get married. But we were too much in love not to.

I don’t recommend to others that they marry that young. What followed were some hard years. Long days at school. Long nights at work. Too many bills. Too little income. But for every hard lesson to be learned there were two immeasurable joys to experience.

The odds are against couples that marry young. But the odds didn’t concern us. Our college classmates congratulated us to our faces, but tried to guess how long it would last behind our backs. Most were wrong. After 32 years we are still very much in love, even more so than we were back then.

Eighteen months later, God gave us a son. Three and a half years after that He blessed us with a daughter. Now it’s just the two of us at home these days, anxiously awaiting our next visit with our kids, their wonderful spouses, and our four grandchildren. In the meantime, the honeymoon continues . . .

Thank you, Dianna, for giving me the privilege of sharing life with you! The fun isn’t over. The flame still burns brightly. I’m looking forward to growing old together!

Every family argues. But does it matter how we do it? A study that has spanned three decades says yes. According to an article by Elizabeth Cooney (“A lingering cloud” – read it here), the Simmons Longitudinal Study has followed more than 300 kindergartners into adulthood with some interesting results.

The most recent results, published in March 2009 issue of the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, indicate that “children exposed to their parents’ verbal battles or involved in family arguments, were more likely to be functioning poorly at age 30 than other people in the study who did not live in increasingly fight-filled homes. The children exposed to family fighting were two to three times more likely to be unemployed, suffer from major depression, or abuse alcohol or other drugs by age 30. They also were more likely to struggle in personal relationships, but that was evident to a lesser degree.”
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I said yesterday that success is doing God’s will, in God’s way, in God’s timing. So how do we determine God’s will? The answer to that question seems to vary with who is doing the talking. But before I give you my answer, let me mention how God’s will is NOT to be determined.

1. A sense of peace. You’ve probably heard it said that you can know God’s will by the fact that you will have peace about the decision(s) you have made. While that’s a popular assertion, it is not an effective way to determine God’s will because it depends upon ourselves and our feelings. Our feelings, perceptions, and emotions are notoriously unreliable. Have you ever made a wrong turn with full confidence you were going the right way? A sense of “peace” can come from a variety of circumstances having nothing to do with the will of God. Making a decision (even a wrong) one can bring “peace” because the inner conflict has been resolved. Giving in to a persistent temptation can bring “peace” for the same reason. Want a temporary sense of “peace,” go ahead and say what you think, run off with the person you’re attracted to even if he or she is someone else’s spouse, or return to your former lifestyle of sin. All will provide a temporary, albeit quite false, sense of “peace.”
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Most days I like raisins. The little wrinkled snacks are alright . . . most of the time. I’ve eaten these little dried grapes as long as I remember. I’ve always liked them in my breakfast cereal (although I confess I have enjoyed the sugar-crusted ones the most). They are an important part of an oatmeal raisin cookie too. Without them, the cookie tastes a lot like yesterday’s oatmeal. They add a nice touch to several other snacks as well.

An added benefit is that they are good for you! “Fat free, high in potassium, and cholesterol free”–or so the box says. They are even fairly low in calories (not rice cakes, you understand, but not a Snickers bar either). They also contain a bit of Calcium and Iron.
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I’ve been thinking about some married couples I have known. The particular couples I have in mind are of a variety of ages, live in different parts of the country, and are of varied economic status. All, however, have one thing in common–one partner suffers from serious debilitating illness.

The illnesses vary: blindness, Alzheimer’s, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s, cancer, etc. In some cases, the illness has been determined to be terminal–the end is in sight. In other cases the illness is “merely” debilitating. The healthy spouse is forced to watch as his or her partner in life slowly spirals downward.
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If you watched the Academy Awards last Sunday night (2-22-09) you were “treated” to a bit of propaganda. Besides the usual display of material excess and moral regress, there was an unmistakable stamp of approval given to homosexuality—an exercise that has become an annual affair at the Oscars.

Sean Penn won the best actor award for his work in the movie “Milk,” the story of Harvey Milk, a San Francisco city supervisor, the nation’s first openly homosexual individual elected to public office. Milk was killed in 1978 by another supervisor.

Penn took the opportunity to lobby for “gay marriage” and express his disappointment over the California vote approving Proposition 8, defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman and effectively outlawing gay marriage. If voting Penn as best actor didn’t get the message across, the industry audience clearly expressed their agreement with Penn in their enthusiastic applause for his remarks and those of others in the same vein.

As usual, the truth about homosexuality was passed over in favor of the popular rhetoric of the gay lobby. With that in mind, I thought I would do my part to present the other side.

As with any issue of morality, those of us who are followers of Jesus Christ must first be concerned with God’s opinion about the issue. To ascertain His opinion, we look to the Bible, the written Word of God. In spite of the attempts of some to turn Scripture on its head regarding this issue, the biblical truth about homosexuality is pretty clear.

The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah was a vivid expression of God’s wrath against this sin (Genesis 19:1-25). Later, the Law, given by God to Moses on Mt. Sinai, also took a very clear position. Homosexuality was forbidden. Leviticus 18:22 calls it an “abomination” and two chapters later it pronounces the sentence of death on those who commit it (20:13). Before Israel entered the Promised Land, Moses reiterated that homosexual practice was not to be found among God’s people (Deuteronomy 23:17). Later, godly leaders took strong action against it, with God’s approval (1 Kings 15:11-12; 2 Kings 23:7).

In the New Testament, the argument against homosexuality grows even stronger. While so-called “gay Christians” have often been quick to claim Jesus did not condemn homosexuality, He did indirectly do so. In Mark 10:6-9, Jesus confirmed heterosexuality as God’s design from the beginning of creation. (See also Genesis 1:27; 2:24.) Jesus also listed extramarital sex among the sins that defile a man (Matthew 15:19-20) and acknowledged God’s judgment upon Sodom and Gomorrah (Luke 17:28-29).

The apostle Paul gave us the definitive argument against homosexuality in Romans 1:18-32. The apostle presented homosexuality as the product of a reprobate mind (a mind devoid of God). He presents it as a form of idolatry that exalts the creature over the Creator, dishonors the body, and is contrary to nature. In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, the Bible clearly places those who practice homosexuality among those who will not inherit the kingdom of God.

To sum it up, the Bible labels homosexuality as sin, an affront to the holy God. Christians must hold to this truth without compromise and we must oppose attempts to further the gay agenda by voting for things like Proposition 8 and supporting other legislation that affirms heterosexual marriage and forbids any other types.

It’s also important, however, that we contend for the truth about sexuality and marriage in a way that both honors God, furthers the gospel, and opens the door to true repentance and salvation in Christ—even for those once trapped in the homosexual lifestyle. That’s what I’ll focus on tomorrow.

The announcement that Bristol Palin, the pregnant 17-year-old daughter of vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, and her 18-year-old boyfriend plan to marry has spawned a spat of articles regarding teen marriage. Understandably, these articles often reference the fact that teen marriages have a greater possibility of ending in divorce than marriages that begin in the mid to late 20s.

According to one oft-quoted 2001 study from the Center for Disease Control (CDC), 48 percent of those who marry before age 18 are likely to divorce within 10 years, compared to 24 percent of those who marry after age 25. Those stats, based on data from 1995, are probably pretty reliable.
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Saw an interesting article in last Friday’s Pastor’s Weekly Briefing from Focus on the Family. According to the article, a new study by Robert Wunthrow, a Princeton University sociology professor, claims that the dramatic decline in marriage among young adults has led to a decline in church membership.
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