Transitory Psychosis

I read an article last night from the New York Times about middle school kids “coming out” as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Not surprisingly, several cited in the article are confused about their sexual identity and are experimenting with both homosexual and heterosexual relationships. These are 11 and 12-year-olds, most of whom have not actually engaged in sexual relations of any kind. Yet, they are identifying as gay, lesbian, or bi.

Then, this morning I saw photos and commentary from European fashion shows. No, I’m not interested in fashion in the least. I am interested in how the fashion industry influences our culture’s view of beauty and body image. As I expected, the photos revealed anorexic-looking models serving as walking hangers for the designers’ latest creations. Not only were there no models of average build, there were none that even appeared to be healthy. Put them in a third world country and we’d be sending money and food to them to alleviate the famine.

All this reminds me of how difficult it is to be a young person today. Having thrown the door open to any expression of sexual activity, our society has made an often confusing time of life into a nightmare: Am I gay? Am I straight? Am I bi? How do I know? How do I deal? The reality is that pre-pubescent young people have always experienced the tension of moving from “girls/boys have cooties” to first “romance.” It is normal and natural to feel more comfortable around your same-sex friends while being drawn to more than merely tolerating the opposite sex. The problem is that we have now thrown into the mix a decision that is both unnecessary and unnatural.

At the same time, the barrage of images that define the “perfect” body comes at young people from every direction. The celebrated bodies are always far from the norm or average appearance, setting the standard of “beauty” at a level that is out of reach for all but a genetically privileged few. As a result, some young people are trying ridiculous methods of creating such a body (anorexia, steroids, etc.) or are merely sinking into depression at their inability to measure up.

These are just two issues that make being a pre-teen or teenager more difficult today than it was when I was a kid (and it was no walk in the park even then). It also makes the role of parents even more critical. We must do the hard work of courageously, firmly, and lovingly refusing to allow a corrupted culture to tell our children that wrong is right. That is not accomplished by isolation (although some restrictions on “entertainment” are appropriate), but rather by insulation–providing our kids with a protective coating of parental love, the opportunity for a real relationship with Jesus Christ, and the timeless wisdom of the Word of God. That is, in fact, what we refer to as D6 (Deuteronomy 6) parenting.

Perhaps the most difficult funerals I’ve conducted as a pastor have been for individuals who have committed suicide. Some of the deceased carried out the act in a very well-planned careful manner designed to spare loved ones the worst, complete with a detailed note. Others seemed to make the decision in a split moment, the result of a quick response to an overwhelming moment. At least one took his life in a way that it seemed an intentional effort to cause as much hurt and pain to the survivors as possible.

It’s difficult to know what to say when a person takes his or her life. It is most often a decision borne of despair–the conclusion that things will never be different or never get better. Among Christians, the often unspoken question is did the deceased go to heaven or hell? Answering that question is impossible. Here’s why:
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Two items have caught my attention in the past couple of days. The first was a statistic from the Gardasil website (www.gardasil.com). As you will probably remember, Gardasil is the new drug said to protect against four types of human papillomavirus (HPV). Two of these types of HPV reportedly cause 70% of cervical cancer and two more types cause 90% of genital warts. All are spread by sexual contact.

The stat that caught my attention is that claim that 80% of women will have had HPV by the time they’re 50.* (For the record, this statistic includes more than 30 genital HPV types, not just the four Gardasil is said to protect against.) For most women the virus will clear on its own, but when it doesn’t, cervical cancer can develop. Because of these stats, the manufacturers are recommending that all girls be given Gardasil as a protective measure.
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There is a long-running debate as to whether entertainment influences culture or simply mirrors it. I’m convinced that it does both. Katy Perry’s song “I Kissed a Girl” is a good example. There is no doubt that this song’s celebration of a lesbian kiss (if not more) is a reflection of the youth culture’s increasing acceptance of homosexuality. The stigma that used to be associated with such activity is quickly disappearing.
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The words of the song cannot help but get your attention. The bouncy refrain goes like this:

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it
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If you don’t have much contact with public schools you probably don’t know much about the Day of Silence (DOS) that took place on April 25. This year’s DOS occurred on April 25. Sponsored by the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN), DOS is a day when students and teachers refuse to speak in class to show support to so-called “gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender” (GLBT) students. The purpose of this event is to draw attention to alleged harassment and bullying of GLBT students. In reality, the event has a lot to do with promoting and “normalizing” the GLBT lifestyle and labeling anyone who disagrees as “homophobic” and hateful.
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Unchristian, by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons (BakerBooks, 2007), is a book I have found to be both eye-opening and assuring. The book examines what young Americans ages 16-29 think about Christianity and why it matters. It is based on research from the Barna Group, of which Kinnaman is president, and it’s eye-opening because the picture isn’t pretty. It is assuring in that in confirms perceptions many of us have had for a long time.

Basically, Unchristian reveals that a large segment of this new generation views Christianity as hypocritical, antihomosexual, sheltered, too political, and judgmental. (There is, of course, far more to know and understand about these perceptions and various nuances to them. The book spends an entire chapter on each.) However, although disturbing at times, Kinnaman explores the reasons behind these perceptions and what we can do about them.
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Teens get a lot of bad ink. It seems like every week a new study comes out to tell us just how badly teens are doing. I want to tell you about something good for a change.

My wife’s office is located at a local high school and she can testify to the fact that some students are more than a little difficult to deal with. Not long ago, she met one of those students in the staff parking lot. Parking spaces are like an endangered species at the school and he had slipped his car into the staff parking lot—a definite no-no. Worse yet, he had taken the assigned space of a teacher with whom my wife works.
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In the early 1980s, I was pastoring my first church. Not yet 25 years old, I was in many ways learning as I went. During that period, I met Randy. Rather ironically, he was living with his girlfriend who was an occasional attender at the church.

Randy was just a few years older than me and we became quick friends. I had a small part in his conversion and a large part in his early discipleship. When he came to Christ, Randy moved out of his live-in arrangement. When his girlfriend wasn’t pleased about his newfound faith and its lifestyle implications, the relationship ended.
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Years ago, when I started in ministry, I thought I had to have all the answers. It bugged me when people asked me questions about God, the Bible, or the Christian life and I had no answer. Sometimes I just made it up as I went. Other times it drove me to study more and pray harder.

These days, I’m more interested in knowing the answers to the right questions and admitting my ignorance about the rest. Here are just some of the questions I want to have the answers to:
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