Transitory Psychosis

Danny Conn forwarded me a story about a South Korean couple that has been charged in the death of their three-month-old daughter. Quoting from the story:

The baby was found dead last September 24 and an autopsy showed her death was caused by a long period of malnutrition.

“They indulged themselves in the online game of raising a virtual character so as to escape from reality, which led to the death of their real baby.

Incredible story, don’t you think? But it prompted a thought. Isn’t something similar occurring when parents immerse themselves in things such as work, leisure, media, or pleasure to the neglect of parenting, marriage-building, and their relationship with God? I’m not saying those things are wrong, each one has a place in our lives; but when things are allowed to overshadow our God-given priorities it results in long-term repercussions.

It all dovetails with my recent concerns that we are, as one author said, “amusing ourselves to death” as a culture. We find a million things to do to “escape” from those things we should be doing. Too often it results in neglecting life’s most important relationships.

Time invested in building your relationship with God, your spouse, and your children pays dividends for generations to come. It’s worth the effort!

I read an article last night from the New York Times about middle school kids “coming out” as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Not surprisingly, several cited in the article are confused about their sexual identity and are experimenting with both homosexual and heterosexual relationships. These are 11 and 12-year-olds, most of whom have not actually engaged in sexual relations of any kind. Yet, they are identifying as gay, lesbian, or bi.

Then, this morning I saw photos and commentary from European fashion shows. No, I’m not interested in fashion in the least. I am interested in how the fashion industry influences our culture’s view of beauty and body image. As I expected, the photos revealed anorexic-looking models serving as walking hangers for the designers’ latest creations. Not only were there no models of average build, there were none that even appeared to be healthy. Put them in a third world country and we’d be sending money and food to them to alleviate the famine.

All this reminds me of how difficult it is to be a young person today. Having thrown the door open to any expression of sexual activity, our society has made an often confusing time of life into a nightmare: Am I gay? Am I straight? Am I bi? How do I know? How do I deal? The reality is that pre-pubescent young people have always experienced the tension of moving from “girls/boys have cooties” to first “romance.” It is normal and natural to feel more comfortable around your same-sex friends while being drawn to more than merely tolerating the opposite sex. The problem is that we have now thrown into the mix a decision that is both unnecessary and unnatural.

At the same time, the barrage of images that define the “perfect” body comes at young people from every direction. The celebrated bodies are always far from the norm or average appearance, setting the standard of “beauty” at a level that is out of reach for all but a genetically privileged few. As a result, some young people are trying ridiculous methods of creating such a body (anorexia, steroids, etc.) or are merely sinking into depression at their inability to measure up.

These are just two issues that make being a pre-teen or teenager more difficult today than it was when I was a kid (and it was no walk in the park even then). It also makes the role of parents even more critical. We must do the hard work of courageously, firmly, and lovingly refusing to allow a corrupted culture to tell our children that wrong is right. That is not accomplished by isolation (although some restrictions on “entertainment” are appropriate), but rather by insulation–providing our kids with a protective coating of parental love, the opportunity for a real relationship with Jesus Christ, and the timeless wisdom of the Word of God. That is, in fact, what we refer to as D6 (Deuteronomy 6) parenting.

Finally, a moment to breathe. Things have been hectic of late, to say the least. In addition to the normal end of quarter busy-ness at work, the push to get everything to printing. I have squeezed in a major kitchen floor replacement at home (I didn’t do the work, but we dealt with the chaos), a 1300 mile driving trip to a funeral, and a 36-hour visit from my son. The floor is done and everything is back where it belongs, the urgent projects have gone to press, and my son left this morning. Now I have a few minutes to blog.

Don’t get me wrong, not all of the recent rush has been bad. I love my work. The funeral was a triumphant send-off for a faithful servant of God and had the side benefit of allowing me to see a number of friends and family members I don’t often get to visit with. The visit from my son was brief, but most enjoyable. I love that guy, even if I still don’t understand much about what he does for a living. Nevertheless, it has all been a bit crazy.

What’s next? Tonight we get ready to leave again. Tomorrow we’re off to Dallas, TX (Frisco, actually) for the D6 Conference–a gathering of over 1500 people who are committed to helping parents pass the baton of faith to their children. It promises to be an exciting few days. If you happen to be there, stop by and see me. I’ll be manning the 411 booth, providing information to conference attendees who have questions about what, where, and when. If you want to know more about the conference, go here.

I’ll try to update this blog from the conference, but I’m looking forward to it. After it’s over, I’ve promised myself a long nap.

Yesterday I returned home from work to find what I knew to be a Father’s Day present from my son, Joe, sitting on the kitchen table. When I opened the oblong box I found an unexpected pleasant surprise–a sword.

My son knows me pretty well. I have wanted a sword for a long time. Every time I considered buying one there were too many other purchases that were far more necessary, so I put it off. I even wanted to mount one in the lobby of a church I used to pastor. That, too, never got done.

It’s not that I have any dragons to slay or duels to conduct. I just like the symbolism of swords. To me they convey an image of courage and strength–things I long to see in myself and in others. But the symbolism of this gift went much further. Listen to my son’s own words of explanation:

Hey Dad!

There are multiple reasons behind the sword for Father’s Day. You have always been a warrior fighting for what is good and true and right in the world. You have passed the importance of fighting for what is good and true and right to me. The sword is a symbol of that fight.
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The Pastor’s Weekly Briefing reported last week on a survey of 750 American teens conducted by the Junior Achievement consulting firm, Deloitte. Of interest to me was that only 3% of the teens surveyed said they see clergy (pastors, priests, rabbis, or imams) as role models. Instead, these teens see their friends (13%), teachers or coaches (6%), and siblings (5%) as their role models.

This is a good reminder of the distance between pastors and their parishioners–particularly the young. In looking for role models, these teens look to those with whom they feel a close connection. I’ve read other studies in which teens overwhelmingly identified their parents as the most admired people in their lives.
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Previously, I blogged about the biggest event in Randall House history—the D6 Conference. The long-awaited date and location have been announced: September 23-25, 2009 in Dallas, TX (Frisco Conference Center). The buzz in growing and the conference preview video is now available on YouTube. But don’t go hunting it, just watch it below!

I’ve got some BIG news to share! If you haven’t heard yet, Randall House is sponsoring its biggest event ever—the D6 Conference, September 23-25, 2009. This national conference for pastors and church leaders will equip them to mobilize parents to fulfill their God-given role as Deuteronomy 6 (D6) parents by passing the torch of genuine Christian faith to their children and teens.

The D6 Conference speakers include some of the best known Christian leaders of our day: George Barna (author of Revolutionary Parenting), Dr. John Trent (best-selling author), Dave Ramsey (national radio personality), Fred Stoeker (co-author of Every Man’s Battle), Jim Daley (president of Focus on the Family), and Darren Whitehead (Director of Next Gen Ministries at Willow Creek Community Church).
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There’s been a little buzz around our offices this morning about the “retirement” of Heather Payne, one of the founding members of Point of Grace (POG). POG has been a top-selling group in contemporary Christian music for over 17 years, drawing large crowds to their concerts across North America. Their style of light contemporary Christian music has crossed a number of boundaries resulting in fans from all ages and walks of life.
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