Transitory Psychosis

Battle. Warfare. Struggle. All those words and many like them are used to describe the Christ-followers day-to-day fight against our all-too-human desire to think and do that which displeases God. In 21 years as a pastor, it is safe to say that the majority of questions I received from fellow believers had to do with achieving daily victory over “the old man”–the person we were before entering new life in Christ.

I won’t take time here to explain all the differences between the “religious” or self-described “spiritual” person and the true follower of Jesus Christ, but trust me, the differences are legion–both on the pages of Scripture and in the crucible of life.

In short, the true Christ-follower has experienced a spiritual rebirth, sealed by the indwelling of the Spirit of God. That event sparks a warfare–a battle between the flesh (the person we were) and the Spirit. This warfare is a day-by-day, minute-by-minute reality. Our world caters to the flesh at every turn, encouraging us to indulge it in a million ways ranging from laziness to lying, from rage to rebellion, from stealing to sexual sin.

Of course, most Christ-followers don’t fall prey to the outward sins everyone can see. We’re quite adept at keeping up the image of I’ve-got-it-all-together goodness. Still, the battle rages in private. So what’s the key to consistently winning this fight and doing what pleases God instead of what does not? In a simple phrase: Feed the spirit, starve the flesh.

When I say feed the spirit, I’m talking about engaging in those things that strengthen your relationship with Christ, bolster your resolve to do His will, fill your mind with His truth, and direct your thoughts to that which pleases Him. (See Philippians 4:8.) Starving the flesh is abstaining from those things that weaken your relationship with Christ, ease your resolve to do His will, fill your mind with the world’s “truth,” and direct your thoughts toward that which does not please Christ.

The next time you consider an entertainment, recreation, or activity ask yourself: Will this feed my spirit or feed my flesh? Then choose that which feeds the spirit.

This simple approach is not the perfect equation, but it is a step in the right direction. “Set your mind on things above,” wrote Paul (Col. 3:2). I’m convinced it is the key to winning against temptation, again and again.

I happened across a brief excerpt from musician John Mayer’s recent interview with Playboy magazine. (No, I didn’t see it in the magazine or get it from Playboy. I followed a link from a Christian ministry to get to it.) If you haven’t noticed, Mayer has dated and bragged about bedding some of the leading ladies of pop culture (actresses, singers, etc.) all of whom are very attractive. Oddly enough, none of these relationships has lasted.

WARNING: I’M GOING TO GET A LITTLE FRANK FROM HERE ON OUT, BUT THIS NEEDS TO BE SAID. I’LL BE AS DISCREET AS POSSIBLE.

In the interview, Mayer confesses to a fondness for porn. He states that with the magic of modern communication, he sometimes sees 300 pictures of naked women before he gets out of bed. He also acknowledges that he may be his own best lover.

Mayer recognizes that easy access to pornography has profoundly impacted his generation. He even admits that when he is with a real live woman, he replays his mental library of pornographic images. His conclusion seems to be that his fantasy world is better than any real world experience.

I couldn’t help but be saddened by it all. What Mayer describes is the inevitable destination to which pornography leads. Young men sometimes see porn as an enhancement to their sex lives. In reality, it is an insatiable leech. A little soon grows into a lot. It distorts the mind’s eye, turning every woman into little more than an object of momentary pleasure or disgust. Real women are measured by how they compare to the fantasy women on the page, screen, or in the mind.

It’s not something that can be easily turned off either; even when a man wants to do what is right. As many young men have discovered, marriage does not cure an addiction to pornography. And as many women can testify, no living breathing woman can measure up to the fantasy world of porn. Even after the addiction is broken, its shards work their way to the surface from time to time, bloodying relationships with fresh wounds.

The truth is, guys, if you walk this road it will take you where you don’t want to be. Porn promises to give you all, it just doesn’t tell you how bitter that all can be.

Beware, my young brothers! Proverbs 5 advises men to stay far away from the immoral woman and go nowhere near her house (verse 8). That advice rings true, even if she lives in a magazine, DVD, or website.

The upcoming D6 Conference in Dallas (Sept. 23-25) has topped 1400 registrants. (For more info on the conference, click here. The message of D6 (Deuteronomy 6) that parents are to be the primary disciplers of their children has struck a chord with people around the US and even beyond.

Personally, I’m looking forward to joining the crowd to be part of this historic conference as leaders in family ministry from around the country come together to talk about how to reach the next generation for Christ. The future of the church in North America, indeed the future of Christianity in the USA depends on Christian parents making the task of passing the torch of faith to their kids a top priority.

As a parent whose kids are grown, married, and giving us grandchildren, I can tell you from experience the years of childhood fly by all too quickly. When you are in the trenches of parenthood time sometimes seems to be moving incredibly slowly. But all too soon, they are grown and gone.

Frankly, in the years when my children were growing up, I made some personal and professional sacrifices in order to be a part of their lives. My wife, Dianna, did likewise. We have said to each other many times since that we don’t regret a minute of it. Parenting is an investment that pays dividends for a lifetime.

One of my greatest joys today is to see our children raising their children to love God and serve Him and others. I hope the D6 Conference sparks the same fire in the lives of parents and church leaders. If it does, it will be worth all the work being put into it.

I haven’t blogged for a couple of weeks but I am still alive. It has been a crazy couple of weeks, trying to make up lost ground at work. There is, however, light at the end of the tunnel.

One of the bright spots of late has been this video. As a certified baseball fan (and girls softball is pretty close to the real thing), I was encouraged by this story. It makes me wonder if a team of guys would’ve done the same. I’m confident that I know some guys who would. Enjoy!

Not long ago I read an article titled “Where Are the Grown-ups?” by John Stonestreet. The article chronicles the American infatuation with adolescence. Stonestreet notes that not only has adolescence (a period of life that didn’t even exist until post-WWII) gotten longer (some say it begins with puberty at about 10 or 11 and extends to age 30) it has become “the goal of our culture.”

Stonestreet elaborates, “Somewhere along the way, we ceased to be a culture where kids aspire to the adults and became a culture where adults aspire to be kids.” He lists six marks of an adolescent culture, or a culture where adolescence has become the dominant mindset. See if they sound familiar.

1. Demand for immediate gratification.
2. Absence of long-term thinking about life and the world.
3. Motivated by feeling rather than truth.
4. Wanting grown-up things without growing up.
5. Expecting bailouts rather than accepting consequences.
6. Focusing on appearance rather than depth.

I don’t know about you, but that sounds a lot like what I see in American society today. It’s a good article and one worth reading and discussing with friends and family. Check it out here.

Yesterday I returned home from work to find what I knew to be a Father’s Day present from my son, Joe, sitting on the kitchen table. When I opened the oblong box I found an unexpected pleasant surprise–a sword.

My son knows me pretty well. I have wanted a sword for a long time. Every time I considered buying one there were too many other purchases that were far more necessary, so I put it off. I even wanted to mount one in the lobby of a church I used to pastor. That, too, never got done.

It’s not that I have any dragons to slay or duels to conduct. I just like the symbolism of swords. To me they convey an image of courage and strength–things I long to see in myself and in others. But the symbolism of this gift went much further. Listen to my son’s own words of explanation:

Hey Dad!

There are multiple reasons behind the sword for Father’s Day. You have always been a warrior fighting for what is good and true and right in the world. You have passed the importance of fighting for what is good and true and right to me. The sword is a symbol of that fight.
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Have you ever read about some study conducted by a university somewhere that caused you to say, “Duh! I thought everybody knew that!” Me too.

It may sound anti-intellectual of me to say it, but why do we need a study to tell us what common sense already should have?

In recent months, I’ve read articles about studies answering such deep questions as whether listening to a iPod at full volume for hours on end will damage a person’s hearing? Duh! Or for those who are cases in point, DUH!

Or how about the expert quoted in a recent article who concluded that we don’t really know if there are any detrimental effects of children being exposed long-term to hard-core porn? The basis for his conclusion? We haven’t had enough studies yet.

I could go on, but you get the point. This is not rocket science people. We don’t need a well-funded study to come to some conclusions. Some basic logic will answer many questions.

So why do we have so many inane studies? One reason is someone is willing to pay for it. In some cases, that someone is you and me–Mr. and Mrs. Taxpayer. In other cases, it is because having the study justifies someone’s job, thus enabling him or her to pay back the enormous loans taken out for an education that has no practical value. In some cases, the study is simply designed to further someone’s agenda.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all in favor of needed studies. But I’m also in favor of using a little not-so-common sense.

The title of this post is a piece of advice I’ve given to parents on more than one occasion. It’s not original with me, of course, but it has proven to be a good guide for communication of all types.

1. Say it well. I’m not talking about style but rather about being exact. A rule of thumb we’re trying to follow in editorial: If it can be misunderstood or misinterpreted it will be. Be sure you make clear what you mean and what you don’t mean.

2. What they hear is what you said. That’s not to say that people don’t misunderstand. It is to say that what they understood is what they will tell others you said. Be sure that what they hear is what you meant to say. Make it your business to be heard correctly.

3. Before you say it, be sure you mean it. Once said (or read) words cannot be recaptured. Even if you are successful in correcting yourself, the impression made by the original will never be completely forgotten. This is extremely important for parents. A stray word can stick for a lifetime.

4. If you say it, do it. Don’t make promises (or threats) you cannot or will not keep. If you say, “This is the last time . . .” then follow through.

Say what you mean; mean what you say. It’s good advice. Now, if I can just take it . . .

I hit on an idea yesterday. Not a new one, I’m sure. (I doubt I’ve had an original idea in my entire life–sounds like a good ambition though.)

Here’s my idea: Every company needs a phantom employee with an important title. For instance: Jason Thurwilder, Director of Customer Relations, Quality Control, or whatever. The phantom employee should be listed among the company brass, along with a faux bio and even a stock photo. Whenever something goes wrong–someone gets offended, a product fails to meet expectations, or anything occurs that generates numerous complaints–you have a solution at hand: Fire Jason!
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As I noted yesterday, the Bible is quite clear in categorizing homosexuality and lesbianism as sin, contrary to God’s command and intent in creation. But how are we to relate to those who engage in this sin and those who are sympathetic to it?

First, it is important for Christians to remember that while homosexual acts are sinful, those who practice this sin are not beyond redemption. First Corinthians 6:9-10 includes homosexuality among the list of sins that will bar a person from the kingdom of God. This list includes other sexual sin, idolatry, theft, covetousness, drunkenness, and others. However, verse 11 goes on to say that some of the Corinthians used to be numbered among these sinners, but have been washed, sanctified, and justified by the Spirit of God. In layman’s terms, they had been saved. This is a hopeful verse. All of these sins can be forgiven. That fact should lead us as believers to recognize that homosexuals, like all of us, are not beyond the reach of the gospel. Our foremost concern in dealing with this matter is that those trapped in it are redeemed.

Someone asks, But isn’t homosexuality an especially heinous sin? After all the Bible calls it an abomination. My answer: Yes, it is a detestable sin. It is not, however, unforgivable. The Bible does call homosexuality an abomination, but it also gives that label to other sins: Idolatry (Deuteronomy 7:25; 27:15), a false balance or scale (Proverbs 11:1), lying lips (Proverbs 12:22), and pride (Proverbs 16:5).

Make no mistake, anyone who takes the Bible seriously has to stand opposed to the homosexual lifestyle. That opposition, however, should not include hatefulness, name-calling, or physical attacks. We must instead take a redemptive tack, seeking to reach even those deceived by this sin for Christ.

Exactly what this looks like will differ some based on personalities and gifts. Personally, I’ve had the privilege of seeing several people leave this lifestyle and find hope and help in Christ. In those cases, it has never been the result of preaching harder and louder against their sin. It has in every case been the result of humble, compassionate love demonstrated by sincere believers.

Years ago, when I questioned my daughter about the wisdom of her friendship with a very “out and proud” gay boy at school, she said, “Dad, if I don’t love him, who will?” I’ve never forgotten that question. When he later left the lifestyle, eventually marrying a young woman, he credited his “crazy Christian friend” with showing him the way. It can happen. It will happen when we reach out in Christ’s love.